Oh wow, look who finally showed up

Welcome to my internet

AKA your one-stop shop for small words, big, juicy ideas, quips that make you spit coffee on your screen, and precision weirdness.

Slapstick will never not slap

This brand campaign for Farmers Union Iced Coffee served up cheap laughs and glitter bombs.

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Getting smooshy with a long, retro campaign line

When you mess around less with your beans, you get a healthier product.

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This is frankly ridiculous

In the Oreo brand universe, a biscuit can solve the world’s problems. The hugtinent, you know, when all the continents hug, is one of the coolest things I’ve ever written into a script that didn’t get killed.

So I invented a mattress bag

I was sick of my mattress getting trashed every time I moved. Head to mattibag.com.au for the whole rags to rags tale.

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This one has Dolf Lundgren in it

In case you’ve been living under a rock, or are under the age of 40, Dolf Lundgren is a strictly C, maybe B-grade action star from the 80s. Or 90s. Something like that.

Who doesn’t love stationery?

I wrote and recorded about 3 million spots for Officeworks. The thing with retail is stakeholders. Lots of product teams and marketing layers oh my. So getting a joke in is always a win.

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Giving Forty Winks a quiet moment

Ok, so this is a monologue spot and it’s dated now, even though it was a pretty big deal for a retailer that yelled at people to buy their beds. But look at that sleepy little dog. Look at him! Or her!

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This is a hilarious radio spot for Momentum Energy

The vision is just so you don’t get bored, and maybe just partly so I didn’t have to find an icon that didn’t suck.

Helping lift calls to 1800RESPECT by 26%

This campaign for 1800RESPECT was designed to shorten the time it took for women with disability experiencing family or carer violence to make contact. Language was overtly simple and clear, and we used a real support worker for our VO to get the tone right. She nailed it.

**What is it with bakers and puns?**

I was working at digital agency Tundra when I pitched this idea for social engagement around Easter, then managed the rollout. They ran it for five years, in some form. Go puns.

This spot is all about that Adam Zwar VO

It’s pretty good writing too. But I’d always wanted to get that animated-but-sleepy best mate voice of Adam Zwar for a read and he nailed these pitch animatic voiceovers.